[ is he okay? here's what he should probably say: that he feels like he's the worst piece of garbage on the planet. that he's failed at protecting people since he got here. that there's not a single positive quality to him. or maybe that he's just overly emotional, and it just freaks people out.
...
he doesn't say any of that, though, because he has to keep all of it in, to keep people from worrying even worse. ]
...'m okay. [ his stomach twists a little bit with it, but. ] All my memories are fine, at least. Nothing like that, this time around.
Good. I'm glad. [except he got a little hint at who ichiro is, and he feels like they've vibed a little more over the last few weeks. it's the only reason he thinks to ask the next question.]
And everything else? [how do you feel about everything else, bro?]
It's not, but I figured if I outright asked how you actually were you'd just say you were fine because we're kind of the same that way. [just...pointing that out.]
...I'm not going to say you have to talk about it, but...if you want. Whenever. I guess.
[ THIS CALLOUT. this callout actually works better than literally anything else that anyone else has tried so far because taichi is right, they are really, really similar.
he like. huffs, a little, scrubs his face again. there's a pause. ]
.... I dunno. I think - do you think anything's different? I feel like... we came back so fucked up from the last trip, something maybe... [ ... ] I feel like I fucking hate myself, man. Like - I can't do anything good. Haven't been able to do anything good. And like... that I get too emotional, and it fucks other people up.
...I've been kind of feeling like that even before we left the first time. We keep solving cases, but at what cost, you know? Everything's so fucked up and it's like we were talking about last week. We keep running into a wall and we can't get our way around it. It's...it's not just you. This place is starting to drain on all of us, but I don't think you're fucking other people up by caring about things and people.
We're doing the best we can, but it definitely feels like we should be doing better. I'm right there with you.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
...a pet shop. [BAT.] Are you okay? Like..[he kind of gestures to his head. any weird side effects this round?]
no subject
...
he doesn't say any of that, though, because he has to keep all of it in, to keep people from worrying even worse. ]
...'m okay. [ his stomach twists a little bit with it, but. ] All my memories are fine, at least. Nothing like that, this time around.
no subject
Good. I'm glad. [except he got a little hint at who ichiro is, and he feels like they've vibed a little more over the last few weeks. it's the only reason he thinks to ask the next question.]
And everything else? [how do you feel about everything else, bro?]
no subject
he's quiet for a little longer, after the second question, and then just - exhales. messy, loud, then scrubs his hand over his face. ]
Everything sucks, dude. That's not that weird.
no subject
...I'm not going to say you have to talk about it, but...if you want. Whenever. I guess.
[an attempt was made!!!]
no subject
he like. huffs, a little, scrubs his face again. there's a pause. ]
.... I dunno. I think - do you think anything's different? I feel like... we came back so fucked up from the last trip, something maybe... [ ... ] I feel like I fucking hate myself, man. Like - I can't do anything good. Haven't been able to do anything good. And like... that I get too emotional, and it fucks other people up.
no subject
...I've been kind of feeling like that even before we left the first time. We keep solving cases, but at what cost, you know? Everything's so fucked up and it's like we were talking about last week. We keep running into a wall and we can't get our way around it. It's...it's not just you. This place is starting to drain on all of us, but I don't think you're fucking other people up by caring about things and people.
We're doing the best we can, but it definitely feels like we should be doing better. I'm right there with you.