so. a little later, probably, when things have settled down a bit, taichi will make his way over to the infirmary and poke his head in the door to see if ichiro's there, and also, like, alive.]
well he's alive! he's out of that bloody costume jacket and shirt, at least... it looks like hope's magic has done a pretty good job of helping him out. most of the minor injuries are healed, though he's still really bloodied. his arm is not in danger of being lost anymore, and even wrapped in bandages and placed in a sling.
he looks... super not great, and still just covered in dried blood, gaze a little far away. realizing he's got a visitor, h e glances over, though, and gives taichi a little sup nod in greeting. ]
[i wrote it, thought about deleting it, and left it. anyway so yeah, glad that ichiro's not dead even if he's a Mess, so taichi doesn't quite enter the room just yet.]
Want me to come back later? I don't want to bug you if you're resting but I wanted to make sure we weren't losing you just yet.
...nah, 's okay. [ he will try and push himself up onto his elbow, though. ] I think Hope healed me up....? I don't really remember what happened after we came back. Think I passed out.
Yeah. [ there's a little quiet pride on his face, agreeing. hope is smart. he's really proud. ]
...Think I probably should've lost my arm? I was bleeding a lot. He probably saved my life. [ haha. so. ] I'm doin' okay. Just really shit luck that I had to do it twice.
Don't even get me started on how pissed off I am that a bunch of you went through this shit twice. It hasn't even been that long since our first run, and somehow this one seemed worse.
...yeah. This one was definitely worse. Fucked me up bad. Then again, I... [ ichiro pauses, for a moment, and his mouth sets into a thin line. ] ... I was trying to protect Mabel, this time.
[ which he failed at.
you ever just wake up after losing consciousness to a bunch of people screaming about who could possibly let a child get hurt when you've spent your entire life protecting children and spent your entire cyoa trying your goddamned hardest to protect a child?
haha! ] ... need you to watch out for her in your dorm for me tonight, man. Maybe you'll be better at it.
[oh my god. noooooo he actually looks really sad about that because he Knows how ichiro feels about that kind of thing. they're both older siblings, after all.]
...I'll do my best. I can't promise anything, but there's a whole dorm of us who'll try. I'm sure you did your best though...you weren't exactly in hot shape when you came back either.
he shifts a little bit where he's sitting, looking away. the guilt on his face is pretty much blatant. ]
... yeah. [ he will be doing that anyway! ] Thanks, though, man. We buried Miku and Hector, together, at least, but I haven't seen her or the others since then.
[ sometimes you are just suffering a lot of inside blood loss and are confined to the infirmary by your worried adult figures. ]
[ is he okay? here's what he should probably say: that he feels like he's the worst piece of garbage on the planet. that he's failed at protecting people since he got here. that there's not a single positive quality to him. or maybe that he's just overly emotional, and it just freaks people out.
...
he doesn't say any of that, though, because he has to keep all of it in, to keep people from worrying even worse. ]
...'m okay. [ his stomach twists a little bit with it, but. ] All my memories are fine, at least. Nothing like that, this time around.
Good. I'm glad. [except he got a little hint at who ichiro is, and he feels like they've vibed a little more over the last few weeks. it's the only reason he thinks to ask the next question.]
And everything else? [how do you feel about everything else, bro?]
It's not, but I figured if I outright asked how you actually were you'd just say you were fine because we're kind of the same that way. [just...pointing that out.]
...I'm not going to say you have to talk about it, but...if you want. Whenever. I guess.
[ THIS CALLOUT. this callout actually works better than literally anything else that anyone else has tried so far because taichi is right, they are really, really similar.
he like. huffs, a little, scrubs his face again. there's a pause. ]
.... I dunno. I think - do you think anything's different? I feel like... we came back so fucked up from the last trip, something maybe... [ ... ] I feel like I fucking hate myself, man. Like - I can't do anything good. Haven't been able to do anything good. And like... that I get too emotional, and it fucks other people up.
...I've been kind of feeling like that even before we left the first time. We keep solving cases, but at what cost, you know? Everything's so fucked up and it's like we were talking about last week. We keep running into a wall and we can't get our way around it. It's...it's not just you. This place is starting to drain on all of us, but I don't think you're fucking other people up by caring about things and people.
We're doing the best we can, but it definitely feels like we should be doing better. I'm right there with you.
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w5 thursday
so. a little later, probably, when things have settled down a bit, taichi will make his way over to the infirmary and poke his head in the door to see if ichiro's there, and also, like, alive.]
...you up?
[bro?]
no subject
well he's alive! he's out of that bloody costume jacket and shirt, at least... it looks like hope's magic has done a pretty good job of helping him out. most of the minor injuries are healed, though he's still really bloodied. his arm is not in danger of being lost anymore, and even wrapped in bandages and placed in a sling.
he looks... super not great, and still just covered in dried blood, gaze a little far away. realizing he's got a visitor, h e glances over, though, and gives taichi a little sup nod in greeting. ]
...hey, man.
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Want me to come back later? I don't want to bug you if you're resting but I wanted to make sure we weren't losing you just yet.
[he's kinda freaked, it's fine.]
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...nah, 's okay. [ he will try and push himself up onto his elbow, though. ] I think Hope healed me up....? I don't really remember what happened after we came back. Think I passed out.
[ yeah. yea you did. ]
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[he'll enter the room then and have a seat on the nearest surface.]
...glad to see you're okay though.
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...Think I probably should've lost my arm? I was bleeding a lot. He probably saved my life. [ haha. so. ] I'm doin' okay. Just really shit luck that I had to do it twice.
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Don't even get me started on how pissed off I am that a bunch of you went through this shit twice. It hasn't even been that long since our first run, and somehow this one seemed worse.
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...yeah. This one was definitely worse. Fucked me up bad. Then again, I... [ ichiro pauses, for a moment, and his mouth sets into a thin line. ] ... I was trying to protect Mabel, this time.
[ which he failed at.
you ever just wake up after losing consciousness to a bunch of people screaming about who could possibly let a child get hurt when you've spent your entire life protecting children and spent your entire cyoa trying your goddamned hardest to protect a child?
haha! ] ... need you to watch out for her in your dorm for me tonight, man. Maybe you'll be better at it.
no subject
...I'll do my best. I can't promise anything, but there's a whole dorm of us who'll try. I'm sure you did your best though...you weren't exactly in hot shape when you came back either.
[like. obviously.]
You can't blame yourself.
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he shifts a little bit where he's sitting, looking away. the guilt on his face is pretty much blatant. ]
... yeah. [ he will be doing that anyway! ] Thanks, though, man. We buried Miku and Hector, together, at least, but I haven't seen her or the others since then.
[ sometimes you are just suffering a lot of inside blood loss and are confined to the infirmary by your worried adult figures. ]
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I think everybody's taking care of all of you guys. People were trying to fix Mabel's teeth last I heard. But...who're Miku and Hector? What happened?
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What happened to her teeth....? [ those were? fine? he thinks? when they left? honestly it's all really fuzzy.
ichiro shakes his head after a second, though. ] ....'s a long story. Started at a pet shop. Hector's the bat... Miku was our dog. Mabel had him.
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...a pet shop. [BAT.] Are you okay? Like..[he kind of gestures to his head. any weird side effects this round?]
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...
he doesn't say any of that, though, because he has to keep all of it in, to keep people from worrying even worse. ]
...'m okay. [ his stomach twists a little bit with it, but. ] All my memories are fine, at least. Nothing like that, this time around.
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Good. I'm glad. [except he got a little hint at who ichiro is, and he feels like they've vibed a little more over the last few weeks. it's the only reason he thinks to ask the next question.]
And everything else? [how do you feel about everything else, bro?]
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he's quiet for a little longer, after the second question, and then just - exhales. messy, loud, then scrubs his hand over his face. ]
Everything sucks, dude. That's not that weird.
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...I'm not going to say you have to talk about it, but...if you want. Whenever. I guess.
[an attempt was made!!!]
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he like. huffs, a little, scrubs his face again. there's a pause. ]
.... I dunno. I think - do you think anything's different? I feel like... we came back so fucked up from the last trip, something maybe... [ ... ] I feel like I fucking hate myself, man. Like - I can't do anything good. Haven't been able to do anything good. And like... that I get too emotional, and it fucks other people up.
no subject
...I've been kind of feeling like that even before we left the first time. We keep solving cases, but at what cost, you know? Everything's so fucked up and it's like we were talking about last week. We keep running into a wall and we can't get our way around it. It's...it's not just you. This place is starting to drain on all of us, but I don't think you're fucking other people up by caring about things and people.
We're doing the best we can, but it definitely feels like we should be doing better. I'm right there with you.