LUX;

[goalsides]

Comments

[illuminance]

Mm. We were put in the situation that made Manwol choose what she did. Then forced to allow it with no better options.

Then at the last minute, we were denied even that small, meager reprieve.

[goalsides]

When you lay it out like that it sounds worse and worse by the minute. [it's terrible, actually.] Even before that, those people were taken and sent somewhere that could've killed them. Like it wasn't bad enough we have to solve these mysteries ourselves.

...we're being played with, and I don't like it.

[illuminance]

No one here does.

[ she is clenching her fists hard at her side, her knuckles white. ]

But we - there is nothing we can do from inside this cage. This anger will keep building higher and higher and it still does not change the confines of our situation.

I don't know what to do with that.

[goalsides]

...in a way, it feels like we're meant to be angry so that more and more people will act out of anger. It's a trap all the way through, and unless we know how to break out of the cycle this is going to keep happening.

I don't know what to do either but commiserate with everybody else. But even then...that's not really a solution, is it?

[illuminance]

Regardless of what they want from us, we have to stick together. Regardless of if we may betray one another - be it by compulsion or otherwise - we have to stick together.

This is what I believe.

[goalsides]

I don't disagree. I really don't. That's why I think it's important we keep talking to each other and figure out what to do. It's only been a few weeks, but...it's obvious that something big happened and the people who killed Lan Wangji don't trust us to tell us the truth.

[illuminance]

The idea that there are people keeping such a secret to themselves - after seeing what has to happen...

I like the idea of it being compulsion. I prefer that, to the idea that there are those who could rest easy after what they've done.

[goalsides]

Compulsion has its own problems, too, doesn't it? Because if they're compelled there's no telling where it'll stop. It's too convenient for them to be compelled and their will to break free right after a kill.

There's no good answer. What the hell is the point of a school if we aren't learning anything?

[illuminance]

Who's to say the compulsion ends after the kill?

[ but - she shakes her head. it's all just guess work anyway, so there's no point getting caught up in potential details. ]

... What - you didn't enjoy "bees" class?

[goalsides]

That...is what I'm afraid of. [he will land on that dire note before he finds himself surprised by the question and laughs slightly.]

Would you believe me if I said Crow and I snuck out of class to go make fish burgers?

[illuminance]

You and - Crow, you said? I would absolutely believe that.

[goalsides]

[there's a grin.]

It's not that I don't like the classes. It's that I think a lot of them actually aren't going to help us do much of anything except distract us from what's happening.

[illuminance]

Attending them does not seem to bring as much reward as I had hoped.

Perhaps next week I will skip a class or two, myself.

[goalsides]

Maybe just make sure to go to one anyway. We still don't know what happens if we do skip...and with everything else that happens here I don't know if that's a risk we should take yet anyway.

[illuminance]

Right... There were those suffering strange... Alterations to their personality. Perhaps something like that would be a punishment.

[goalsides]

Maybe...did we ever even figure out what that was about? Catra's was more subtle, but Mandricardo's was...really different.

[illuminance]

I... Have no idea. I've been trying to figure it out, but I'm afraid I'm coming up empty handed.

[goalsides]

You and me both. [which is, as usual, annoying.] But now that we know that's a thing, maybe we should be keeping an eye out for anything unusual. It might give us a lead or something.

[is he trying to be useful? you bet.]

[illuminance]

Yet another reason to be friendly with one another. It will make it easier to recognize when someone is not behaving as themselves.

[goalsides]

Yeah...if we know each other better we can pick up on things faster. [...] Should I take that to mean you've been trying to be nice to everybody still?

[illuminance]

Of course. No one here has done anything to earn my ire.

[ ..... well. except for the killers but she doesn't fucking know who they are, so. ]

[goalsides]

Except Claude?

[and the killers. but wouldn't it be hilarious if it was someone she liked a lot? wow.]

[illuminance]

I have nothing against Claude.

However, I consider myself a deeply loyal person.

[goalsides]

That makes two of us, I think.

[he...does not elaborate on that, exactly.]

But it's not a bad thing to be. Loyal. And nice to people.

[illuminance]

Sometimes loyalty is all we have.