LUX;

[goalsides]

Comments

[goalsides]

Yeah. [...but he's quick to change the subject.]

You never explained what your badge was. [there's a little nod to it.]

[illuminance]

It's the Crownguard family crest. Showing it is an easy way to gain access to things most people cannot.

Or it was back home. [ pretty useless here, but still. she's happy to have it. ]

[goalsides]

That's actually pretty cool. Like an exclusive thing. [it's also kind of impressive.]

...I kind of like the small reminders, at least. Like a way to stay focused on what to do next.

[illuminance]

Yes. I always find that remembering what I owe to my family and my people keeps me motivated!

[goalsides]

[hm.]

While it's important to think about that, too, isn't it just as important to think about what matters to you? Not just what you owe people.

[illuminance]

I do think of the things I owe myself, as well.

[ close enough? ]

[goalsides]

[it's not his business, but:]

What kind of things are those then?

[illuminance]

Acceptance.

[ it's a higher bar than you would think, given her situation. ]

And - if I want to see the Demacia in my heart, I'll have to work to build it. That isn't for my family. It's for myself, and other mages.

[goalsides]

[...well she's got a good point.]

If anybody can, you seem like the right person for the job. You already know what you want to do.

[illuminance]

I know what I want.

But I can't say that I know how to truly accomplish it.

[goalsides]

Would other Mages at least be willing to help you?

[illuminance]

I don't know. I helped some of them flee, but wanting to live is different from wanting to...

[ to what? she doesn't have a plan, even if she had allies. and she doesn't, really, because most of the mages left with sylas. which she hates. ]

... And the others chose their side. So.

[goalsides]

...so you keep trying to find others that will join you. Even if it's a small number, it's better than doing it by yourself. There has to be a few left somewhere.

[illuminance]

Join me to do what, though?

I don't know how to change a kingdom set in thousand year old ways.

[goalsides]

You know what you want, right? Even if you don't know how yet, all it takes is trying to find someone who wants the same thing.

[illuminance]

... Even when you want the same thing, you might not agree on the best way of getting it...

[goalsides]

That's why you talk it out. [...] Yamato and I wanted the same thing even if we didn't agree on how to do it at first. But we figured it out. It's possible.

[illuminance]

Yamato is a good person and a good friend. Not everyone will be. Some people can't be reasoned with.

And it only makes it harder to do anything, because people will assume that because you share one ideal, you must hold all the same morals as them. That you are the same kind of threat.

[goalsides]

[...at this point, he's not sure what to say to that.]

Then you find a way to communicate with them and learn what their wants and morals are and how your differences can help each other. I get that maybe not everyone can, but...it's just what I think.

[illuminance]

[ that's too naive. it's so naive that she doesn't know what to do with it

so

she brightens! ]

Yes, you're probably right. It's just something I'll have to work on, I suppose!

[goalsides]

[the thing about it is, the change of heart is a little too sudden. so he looks at her for a moment before he kind of looks away instead toward the other christmas boxes and begins packing up his own stuff.]

...don't worry about it, Luxanna. I'm sure you'll do whatever you think works best and it'll turn out.

[she doesn't have to humor him, basically. so it's fine.]

[illuminance]

[ those kinds of reassuring words just kind of hurt worse! but! it's fine! she smiles and gives him a nod. ]

I appreciate the thought. Hopefully this time, that will be true.

[goalsides]

I hope so. [rip to her.] ...but thanks for telling me about everything anyway.

[if only because he maybe understands a few things now.]

[illuminance]

[ it wasn't even by choice-- ]

Of course. I'm sorry to have... Taken over the conversation.

[goalsides]

You didn't. I asked, remember?

[he could have just not questioned what he saw.]