LUX;

[goalsides]

Comments

[goalsides]

[...yeah he just. gently raises an eyebrow. are you really going to make him say it, lux?]

[illuminance]

... I see.

[ she hadn't really? put it together until now?

she doesn't know what normal friends are like and she's very repressed, okay! but there is a small but growing sense of understanding. ]

[goalsides]

[that makes two of them, actually.]

That's good because I don't. [haha. there's that same weird white noise swirl of emotions that seems to be an indicator he doesn't know what he's supposed to feel.] It's not really...it doesn't matter because we're going back together no matter what, and there's no point stressing him out by trying to figure out if this is a thing or if it's just me being an idiot about stuff. It's different for people who are on more limited time.

[illuminance]

I think that makes perfect sense.

... I think that... As long as he knows that you're there for him, the specifics need not be insisted upon right now. As long as there is no loss of support for one another through difficult times.

[goalsides]

Mm...you're probably right. [it's confusing, so he doesn't want to think too hard on it.] There isn't anything that could happen that'd make me support him less, so I'm not worried about that.

[this is why you're both a part of the single epidemic.]

[illuminance]

... Then it's fine for things to stay as they are, for now.

[ also lux figures if she's a disaster about this kind of thing there's no reason to expect people younger than her to be less of a disaster. ]

[goalsides]

[...there's a nod.]

Thanks, Luxanna. [that'll just be another thing to obsess about later.] ...let's just keep this between us then, okay?

[illuminance]

In the shadows.

[ ...... that's a yes. ]

[goalsides]

[there's a grin.]

Thanks. [...] So I also need to find a date for Denji. Don't ask, it's just a thing. Any ideas?

[illuminance]

If it's a date like any of the other meaningless dates we've gone on, I could do it?

I'm afraid I'm not sure who he's close enough with to make a more apt suggestion.

[goalsides]

It's for a bet I made with Leo. If I don't get Denji a date, Leo's gonna die my hair rainbow colors. If I do though Leo has to go on a date with whoever I tell him to.

[it's. dumb teenage boy stuff. it's fine.]

I was gonna ask Futaba, too. They're about the same age and they're both pretty weird anyway.

[illuminance]

It's good that you're finding fun things to light the way.

[ she means that! ]

It couldn't hurt to check with her. She could probably use something to cheer her up.

[goalsides]

Yeah. It's the least I can do to make things a little less stressful. [we can't be traumatized forever. it's not fair.]

I'm a little worried about her after everything that just happened. So that's kind of what I was thinking, too.

[illuminance]

Well. Let me know what she answers. If you need a backup, I'm happy to help.

[goalsides]

I owe you one. [there's genuine gratitude there.] I'll let you know as soon as I know.

[illuminance]

Sure.

[ ... hrm, some embarrassment here because they sure did cover a lot of ground here. ]

Um... Thank you. For talking to me about all this. I don't think I've ever talked to anyone about such things before.

[ about crushes or boys or. anything like that. ]

[goalsides]

Oh. [he's surprised, but like pleasantly so.] Yeah. I mean it's...always gonna be weird and kind of embarrassing but maybe talking about that kind of stuff isn't so bad? It's like I told you before. Other people do want to get to know you.

[even if it's just talking about stupid things like that.]

So thanks for letting me.

[illuminance]

Of course. The same to you.

It's been very strange, to be able to be myself so wholly, here. To be able to use magic and speak of it to anyone when that would have been forbidden back home. Even talking about crushes is... Embarrassing, yes. But something I wouldn't have been able to do before, given the circumstances.

[goalsides]

Kind of all the more reason to take every chance you can, don't you think? [or, well...] Do you like being able to be yourself?

[some people might find it stressful or depressing.]

[illuminance]

[ very quickly: ]

It feels weird and I don't know if I like it.

[goalsides]

[lux...but he understands enough that he settles for a grin at that.]

You can always decide later. And if you decide you don't like it, then...[a shrug. it's her choice.] But maybe it's only weird because it's so new?

[illuminance]

... Maybe.

I suppose the unfamiliar can easily make one more nervous than necessary.

[goalsides]

You're not wrong. But the only way to make the unfamiliar familiar is to keep learning about it and being around it.

[illuminance]

Than I shall endeavor to do that.

[goalsides]

Do your best. And if you ever want to practice some more I never mind talking to you about anything.