LUX;

[goalsides]

Comments

[goalsides]

[well. he opens his mouth to answer that, but instead lux gets to see something else.]

[illuminance]

[ unfortunately lux's first thought is just: it must be nice to have so many people on your side.

and that it feels strange to see a memory with someone else she knows, too. ]

... What were you hesitating for?

[goalsides]

[ah. hm. you know this really does nothing to actually prove the point he was trying to make, but it's fine. things were different.]

...it wasn't as simple as Yamato made it out to be. But I couldn't explain it to him back then. I couldn't explain it to any of them at all.

[illuminance]

[ it looked like a pretty recent memory, but... ]

How long ago was it? Were you able to explain it properly, in the end...?

[goalsides]

A few months ago. [so she's right, it was recent.] ...I don't know if I ever explained the way I needed to, but it was explained enough to be understood. It didn't matter though. Our friends were still not to blame for what was happening.

[and back to here.] People just have to know it wasn't their fault.

[illuminance]

... I don't understand. You had people you could tell, but you still didn't explain the way you needed to...?

[ lux has always imagined that having friends would mean not having to keep so much to yourself. ]

[goalsides]

[...urgggh.]

It's more like...I didn't even really know how to explain it to myself back then. Things changed.

[illuminance]

I see...

[ she doesn't really seem to get it. ]

[goalsides]

[...he's doing an excellent job proving his point because he also doesn't quite know how to explain this, so he shrugs.]

Never mind. It worked out and things are fine now.

[illuminance]

That's... Good to hear?

[goalsides]

Yeah. [...but he's quick to change the subject.]

You never explained what your badge was. [there's a little nod to it.]

[illuminance]

It's the Crownguard family crest. Showing it is an easy way to gain access to things most people cannot.

Or it was back home. [ pretty useless here, but still. she's happy to have it. ]

[goalsides]

That's actually pretty cool. Like an exclusive thing. [it's also kind of impressive.]

...I kind of like the small reminders, at least. Like a way to stay focused on what to do next.

[illuminance]

Yes. I always find that remembering what I owe to my family and my people keeps me motivated!

[goalsides]

[hm.]

While it's important to think about that, too, isn't it just as important to think about what matters to you? Not just what you owe people.

[illuminance]

I do think of the things I owe myself, as well.

[ close enough? ]

[goalsides]

[it's not his business, but:]

What kind of things are those then?

[illuminance]

Acceptance.

[ it's a higher bar than you would think, given her situation. ]

And - if I want to see the Demacia in my heart, I'll have to work to build it. That isn't for my family. It's for myself, and other mages.

[goalsides]

[...well she's got a good point.]

If anybody can, you seem like the right person for the job. You already know what you want to do.

[illuminance]

I know what I want.

But I can't say that I know how to truly accomplish it.

[goalsides]

Would other Mages at least be willing to help you?

[illuminance]

I don't know. I helped some of them flee, but wanting to live is different from wanting to...

[ to what? she doesn't have a plan, even if she had allies. and she doesn't, really, because most of the mages left with sylas. which she hates. ]

... And the others chose their side. So.

[goalsides]

...so you keep trying to find others that will join you. Even if it's a small number, it's better than doing it by yourself. There has to be a few left somewhere.

[illuminance]

Join me to do what, though?

I don't know how to change a kingdom set in thousand year old ways.

[goalsides]

You know what you want, right? Even if you don't know how yet, all it takes is trying to find someone who wants the same thing.